Electric guitar lesson #1: It's an electric guitar. Plug it in.

Electric guitar lesson #2: "TURN THAT STUPID THING DOWN! I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK!" These are the two basic electric guitar lessons that everybody learns sooner or later (although it's amazing how many ignore lesson #1). The two lessons are frequently in conflict. Right now I'm in search of a small-but-good amplifier to help resolve just such a conflict. But that's beside the point. Here are a few more that every electric guitarist should learn - sooner rather than later.

Electric guitar lesson #3: Listen to yourself. Electric guitar players are an emotional bunch. We wail away, listening to the band in our heads, playing along. But if you want to improve you have to listen to the sound coming out of your amp (see Lesson #1), not the sound in your head. Are you in tune? In your head, you're always in tune. In real life, not so always. Are you actually hitting the notes, or is it just the guy in your head that's hitting them? How's your tone? (see Lesson #1). Are you actually getting that creamy distortion, or are you imagining it?

Electric guitar lesson #4: Learn to sing. You're going to have to, eventually, so you might as well do it right. Singing makes you more versatile/valuable as a player. It's very satisfying once you get the hang of it. You'll have more fun, get more work and meet more opposite sex types. Bad voice? Doesn't matter. Listen to a Grateful Dead record, you'll feel better about it. Learn to sing.

Electric guitar lesson #5: It's a dangerous job. You play loud music in dark smoky bars, surrounded by electrical equipment rigged by amateurs (yourself included.) You lift heavy amps in and out of cars and carry them up and down stairs. You strap 8 pounds of mahogany around your neck and jump around in the dark for 4 hours. People get hurt doing this - remember Keith Relf? Les Harvey? Clarence White? So learn what you're doing. Understand electricity. Wear earplugs when you practice. Lift with your legs. Stay in shape. Stay clean.

Electric guitar lesson #6: Play for dancers. It's one thing to play music for your own enjoyment. It's something entirely different to play for someone else's enjoyment. And to play so well that people you don't even know can't help but get up and dance? That's powerful, powerful stuff. Most people don't get to experience it. Don't miss it.

Electric guitar lesson #7: Keep an extension cord in the back of your amplifier. And have fun; they call it "playing music" for a reason.

Tom Heany