Reporting back for duty: I'm taking my regular stab at current hits on i-Tunes. As of this writing, it is Halloween day 2006, and the song I'm about to review was released about a month and a half ago, so please forgive my being behind the times.

The song "Future Sex/Love Sounds" is also the title of the album, a collaboration between the record company exec and the sound engineer, according to Timberlake: "I was driving home from the studio, it was like six o'clock in the morning and the sun was coming up. The (music company) exec who was actually working on the record with me, he said, 'This sounds like the future. You've found a way to mix so many genres' and it just kind of stuck with me. Then the next day I was back in the studio mixing and the engineer said, 'Do you realize that you have a lot of songs on this album that either have sexy or the word love in them?' So FutureSex/LoveSounds - now that's the album title!"

Don't you love it when record company execs actually help their stars instead of just exploiting them? The making of this title is a real team effort, and I hope other producers and stars will follow their example. How original: Take the keywords of what the songs are about, line them up and create the album title- they must have had search engine optimization on their minds (Google the term and the first results page will show you only web sites with Justin Timberlake's name in it; he now officially represents the future, sex, love and sounds). Be warned: This song contains explicit lyrics- thank you i-Tunes for alerting me to that fact. Justin really puts it out: he is ready to go out of control, and he is gonna give it to you "which way you like that." Very helpful and very friendly of Justin--he lets all you girls out there know how to turn him on--by you telling him what to do. This song shows Justin's raw, sexual power paired with male sensitivity- what more could a woman ask for?

The chorus gets down and dirty:

Wait a second (he is quick) She's hopped up on me (that could hurt) I've got her in my zone (in the same time zone?) Her body's pressed up on me (are they at the gym?) I think she's ready to blow (a gasket?) Must be my future sex love sound (I wonder how that sounds) And when it goes down (what goes up must come down) Baby all you gotta do is (ask for help)

Now, let's listen to the music. Announced as "revolutionary pop breakthrough," it could be classified as pop with heavy R&B influence, or R&B going pop, or whatever. I think Timberlake and his producers confused the term "revolutionary" with "reactionary," but maybe that in itself is revolutionary. The music of this song doesn't hold up to the claim the lyrics make, that of the "future sex love sound" that gets a girl "ready to blow." Ready to blow original music, that's for sure. If you have a musical memory that goes back more than five minutes, or in my case, about 26 years, you immediately recall Queen's song "Another One Bites the Dust" when listening to "Future Sex Love Sound." Timberlake pretty much owes everything about his song to Queen's hit from 1980, and some to Michael Jackson too. Listen to Queen's song, and you will notice the similar trade mark bass line, the repeated lyrics in the chorus "and another one gone, and another one gone" (Queen) and "Do you like it like this, do you like it like that" (Timberlake).

What is the difference between Queen, Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake? Queen was a great band with real musical talent, Freddy Mercury a guy who could sing, Michael Jackson a great pop musician and songwriter with genuine R&B roots, and Justin Timberlake the cookie-cutter product of a clever record company executive.

I wonder if parents of teenage girls around the country would still welcome Justin Timberlake as their future son-in-law. He used to be such a pretty and decent boy with 'N Sync, and now he is singing about how he likes to do it with their daughters (and I don't even want to mention the "wardrobe malfunction" with Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl). These parents must be quite disappointed, and now the girls can only hang the Justin posters in their lockers at school. I don't think there is really a reason to worry: Timberlake is as harmless as ever, the music as unoriginal as ever, and the explicit lyrics an attempt to create the image of a seductive, sexual man. My advice: Be real, for real. Respek and recognize.

It's not that easy to create a bum rap.

Peter Wipf